It is so very hard for a rational person to accept a miracle. As a spiritual person, married to an ultra-rational athiest, I recognise the tensions that this can cause. The Doctor wouldn't want to be beholden to anyone, even (maybe particularly) a divine being, no matter how much he desired the miracle offered to take place. It would wound his pride and challenge his world view. I think the last few words are so much the key to it, because how very difficult it must be for a Time Lord to let go of that bigger picture (which Jacob describes so perfectly) and to live in the present moment, the necessary state of grace for a spiritual person. He will never find it easy to reach the point of "All will be well" because he usually has the power to influence events in some way. I found the image of him surrounded by his books and gadgets a lovely outward manifestation of that inner battle.
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Date: 2007-04-12 07:48 am (UTC)